A Year

I am sitting in the living room.

Bread is baking in my oven.

The boys have been sent to their room for a little quiet time

Before bed.

*They got nerf guns for Christmas and they require a cool down period if

Played with in the evening. This goes for grown-ups too!*

I am reflecting on the last year and sipping hot tea.

A year ago today, I received a call, early in the morning.

A call that no one wants to get.

My mother in law had died in her sleep.

It was completely unexpected and we were all devastated.

There is comfort in knowing she is no longer plagued by the illnesses that

Held tight to her for so many years.

For the last year, my father in law has had weekly meals with us.

Almost every week.

It is time I treasure and look forward to every week.

Today brings to an end the anticipation of firsts.

First Christmas,

First Thanksgiving,

First Birthday without the birthday girl.

These are the big days, the landmark moments shared with family.

I am happy to have made it through these days.

Things were different.

Things will never be like they were

And we seem to have found a way to make it through the hardest times together.

For our family, relying on one another is not enough.

We rest firmly on the Lord.

I am thankful we don’t have to figure it all out on our own.

The vulnerability of processing her death led to unexpected

Healing in other areas of my life.

So tonight, I sit and think about her life.

I miss her hugs.

I miss her.

A lot.

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3 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Erin said,

    I’m still so sorry for your loss. And glad that you’ve seen Jesus in the grief. Love you!

  2. 2

    Laura said,

    You’ve made it through to The New Normal, Becky. This next year makes the casting about, finding your footing, the New Reality. And it’s still hard. By now, most folk have moved on in their lives, whilst you’all have just looked up from your pain and grief and realised that the world is still turning… At least, that’s kind of how I and some of the others in my clan felt. Prayers for all of you this next year. May God continue to comfort you, protect you, and guide you’all.

  3. 3

    Phil Dell said,

    Sometimes tears come easy. Sometimes not. Sadness hangs like a cloud, always present, always lurking; sometimes natural, sometimes ambushing. Meaning is left for God. Fear of God has taken on new urgency. Death, certain sometime, too often sooner than you realize.


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