I live in an old house.

Almost 100 years old.

I live really close to the street I lived on for the first 13 years of my life.

While I love our home, I don’t really feel at home here.

This has bothered me for quite some time.

It upsets me.

Today, while cleaning, it occurred to me why I don’t feel home here.

Our home doesn’t reflect my style.

I picked the paint.

Aaron and I chose a dining room table and recliner.

We also chose new carpeting for the living room, stairs and hallway.

Outside of these things, everything that fills our home has been

handed down to us, passed on to us or purchased at a discount.

Those things are great and have richly benefited us, but they have kept

The expression of who I/we am/are silent.

Sometimes I sit and look around our home and get sad.

I am very affected by my surroundings.

The weather.


Piles of laundry.

Ya know….

Unfinished business.

I think that is why I don’t feel at home.

Things aren’t how I want them to be/look.

I am in no way ashamed of the house God has provided for us,

But I think it helps to put your finger on things that bother you.

I need to pray for contentment and that I am keeping my eyes focused on Christ and not

Be so wrapped up in the stuff around me.

I wonder how much different life would be if I would focus more on my eternal home vs. the one

That I live in now.

How much brighter would each day be?

How much more vivid would colors be?

When things take the place of the Almighty God, no wonder sadness so often follows.

Until the opportunity presents itself to replace that which we have with that which we choose,

I pray I will search for beauty in the eternal and not get distracted by the things that surround us.



3 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Laura said,

    Hi Becky,

    I hear you. For many years, I lived in houses that weren’t mine. They were either provided by the generosity of the taxpayer, through the United States Air Force, or they were rented whilst Rick and I saved and saved for a home of our own. Needless to say, I was limited, mostly by finances and renter’s rules, by what I could do.

    Now I have a house of my own. Since 1998, after a major hiccup in the early ’90s, I’ve been blessed by the process of buying or building houses of my own. All those years, since first I married in 1976, I’ve clipped magazine pages, saving files and files of decorating and building ideas to put into my Dream House. I was blessed by that Dream House, only to one day sell it because it meant little to live there all by myself…

    I love my house. But I hold it lightly. I’ve learnt how to decorate differently by doing it myself, finding it on a budget, and refining my “look” to be what I want…not what was trendy or cutting edge. I know you will too. There is a certain joy in sewing your own window treatments, your own cushions, your own comforter covers and as your eye and your skills increase, your home reflects the fun of copying the look you like…and becoming your own, unique designer. I learnt how to paint and wallpaper…and my creativity knew no bounds! It is just sooo much fun! I was doing Martha’s stuff before Martha was! If only I had had a publishing empire! LOL!!!

    You will do this, too. It takes time, not money. It takes heart, not credit cards. It takes vision, not connections to designers. And your best resource is looking, looking, looking…for nothing is truly beyond trying. Anything can be learnt.

    On the way, contentment comes because you have a home where you are creating a haven, a sanctuary, a safe-place where God comes first and Family dwells within His all-embracing love. That’s the primary ingredient to successful decorating. Where God builds the House…and it becomes a place of sacred conversation: Mother-Child; Husband-Wife; Family-Friends; where Strangers (who may be Angels) are entertained and blessed.

    Be blessed, Becky, as you find your way in this. It certainly isn’t easy! But it is so worthwhile. (And forgive me for writing a book here!!!) 🙂


  2. 2

    david said,

    and also wine gladdens the hearts of men. and women too – just sayin…

  3. 3

    david said,

    but you know that

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