Reflections Through The Motherhood Mirror

Motherhood.

Oh how I longed to be a mommy.

To have

Sweet snuggles.

Slobbery kisses.

Bodies to feed, clean and hug.

Babies to nurse, change, hold.

The idea of motherhood, for me, was born out of selfish desires.

I wanted to be needed.

I wanted to be unconditionally loved.

I wanted, I wanted, I wanted.

Now that I am over 6 years into my journey of motherhood, I realize how unselfish these selfish desires

Have made me.

That is just another gift of motherhood.

I feel blessed beyond words for the gift of being a mommy.

Sunday night Collin got sick.

By sick I mean, I am thankful I had a plastic Kroger bag in the car, because he made good use of it.

I was worried about him anyway because of a scrape on his elbow that had gotten pretty infected.

It was responding to treatment, but I was still concerned.

Along with the vomiting he developed a fever and headache.

I decided to call the on call nurse for his pediatrician to see if I needed to get him checked out that night or wait until Monday.

While on the phone with her, I was rubbing his head and I felt a tiny bump.

BLECH! IT WAS A TICK!

Now I wanted to vomit!

A nasty little tick had attached to Collin’s head.

That changed the nurses tune and she suggested I take him to the ER to get him looked at.

Thankfully the appearance of an overcrowded ER waiting room does not reflect the wait.

We got back into a room in about half an hour.

The answers were not cut and dry regarding why Collin was so sick.

To many variables.

The doctor basically said it could all be caused by the infection

OR

He could have a virus, a tick and an infection, completely unrelated to one another.

While on our way to the hospital I prayed.

First with Collin, then silently, but intently.

I prayed for God’s will to be done.

I thanked Him for having a plan for Collin.

I thanked Him for His perfect plan.

I prayed that I would trust Him if His plan was different from my desires.

Thankfully we were in and out of the ER in a couple of hours!

Thankfully today he woke up feeling much better.

No more headache, bellyache and his appetite has returned.

I sit here thankful.

REJOICING that he is okay!

Reflecting on the gifts of mommyhood.

Being a Mommy has taught me so much the love God has for me, HIS CHILD.

I still have to clean Collin’s arm with peroxide.

He hates it!

He screams.

He cries.

He gets mad.

He looks at me with big, round, tear soaked eyes, as if to say WHY are you hurting me.

My answer would because I love you and even though this may hurt you,

I am doing it for your own good.

I know the plans I have for you.

You can’t see them.

You have to trust me.

You know I love you.

You know I would give my own life for yours.

You may not understand, but you trust.

Blindly.

Faithfully.

Consistently.

How many times to do I look to God with big, round, tear soaked eyes?

How often do I scream, cry or get mad.

Do I trust

Blindly, Faithfully, Consistently?

Motherhood is a mirror.

It reflects all of me.

Often I don’t like what I see, but today I am thankful for the reflection of growth.

Thankful to see where I have been and be challenged with how I am walking this journey.

Thankful.

Trusting.

Loving.

Advertisements

1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    Beck said,

    How true it is that motherhood strips us of our selfishness and reflects to us our own hearts! I’m glad Collin is feeling better.


Comment RSS · TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: