Needing Space

It is happening.

Things are changing…


I feel like we are coming to another crossroads in the Dell house.

More and more I am seeing the roles of the boys shifting from BFF’s to Big Brother – Little Brother.

Boundaries are being set and challenged.

Collin desires to be where Noah is.

Noah desires to be alone.

Noah will park himself somewhere doing something.

Collin will sit next to him, like always,

BUT now it annoys Noah.

It is like a switch has been flipped and Noah no longer delights in his little brothers CONSTANT companionship.

It is bittersweet for me.

I know it is part of the process of growing up,

But I also remember being the little sister.

I am setting boundaries for them both.

Trying to give them stuff to do in different rooms, heck even floors of our house.

Some how, Collin always shows up where Noah is.

Sometimes he gets away with it.

Sometimes, like now, he still gets to soak up that brotherly love time with Noah.

BUT more often than not, they are doing different things.

It is hard to watch, but I know it is an important part of who they are becoming.

Collin is learning how to spend his time without Noah telling him what to do.

Noah is exploring more complex building, coloring and playing, while growing in independence.

I am so thankful I was able to watch from the front row as they spent every day LOVING each other.

LOVING sharing stories and toys.

LOVING telling each other jokes.

LOVING the company of their brother.

While these moments are still present in our home, they are less frequent.

I love who they are becoming.

I love watching them enter new stages.

I love teaching them and caring for them daily.

I miss the “old” days.

The days when I wasn’t sure I could make it with 2 babies at one time.

The days of

Watching Elmo.

Helping them learn to sit up.

Holding tight a freshly sink-bathed infant.

Walks on the bike path with the double stroller.

A cooing, laughing, drooling baby looking at me from the baby swing.

The middle of the night nursing that belonged to us alone.

I can’t believe how far removed I feel from all of those tiny precious moments.

I can’t believe how much I miss

The messes.

The food covered faces.

The LONG days and even LONGER nights.

The feeling of the first kick in my belly.

The millions of questions, possibilities and potential.

I am thankful I had those moments.

Thankful to have so many things to reflect on.

To look back and smile at.

I am so thankful for the blessing of being a Mommy.

I will never forget the first years of my Mommy adventure and I wonder what’s next!

As we enter this new phase, I pray they will always find joy in being with each other.

While I know they will need to make adjustments in their relationship,

But I pray they will love to share their lives together.

In my heart they will always be my babies.

And that makes my heart rejoice!


3 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Dumeta said,

    I missed you – thanks for another wonderful, real post.

  2. 2

    Jenny W said,

    Dear little sister,
    Just remember things eventually sway back the other direction. You can come sit by me whenever you want to take a 10 hour drive! Thank you for keeping me up to date on your lives!
    Your big sister

  3. 3

    Cathy said,

    What a precious expression of your young growing boys! Very well said!

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