Collin Update Wednesday

Today was wonderful. Well, as wonderful as it can be when you have a child in the hospital. The morning started with a happy Collin. He had a great attitude with his doctor’s and nurses, for the most part and love the new “games” resp. therapy has him doing to open his airways. What kid wouldn’t love being told he has to blow into one of those party favors that unrolls or blow bubbles inside(!) or go on a walk to see a fish tank. Oh I can’t forget how he also love his pinwheel!! The doctors and nurses still continue to bless our family with the love and care they pour over our family daily. Collin’s room feels warm and homey with cards from his friends, Jacob and Ellie, Noah and even a card made and given to him secretly by a child he has never met. He loves his flowers from Daddy and the Chase family. He loves his balloons. He loves having MANY gifts given to him several times a day. He loves the picture of he and Noah and the one of Daddy and Roxi that Daddy brought from home. It has made a big difference in my mood too! Everywhere I look in his room shows promise, love and support. It has been crucial to our survival.
Today while I was giving him one of his massages, (yeah, there are some perks to having a mom that is a massage therapist), he looked at his flowers and said, “God made those flowers mom.” We spent the next several minutes talking about many things that God has made. It was so nice. We talked about:
Mommy: Collin, where are you?
Collin: At the doctor’s.
M: Why are you here?
C: The doctors are making my boo-boo’s all better.
I found such comfort in this. He does kind of understand what is going on. This brings great peace to both of us.
We consulted with a Pulmonologist today and he suggested a few new things we are trying. He had another chest xray, which we have yet to talk to a doctor about. I spoke with one of Collin’s resp therapist’s and she said she only read the report and when she compared the new and old reports there was not much change. I am slightly discouraged by this, but only slightly because he is showing great improvement. He got to go on 2 walks today!! He walks from his room to the waiting room to look at the fish tank. A big surprise today was that my BFF was here visiting me when I got the call to come back to help him w/ his walk. It takes Aaron and I to do one of his walks, we have an IV pole and O2 tank to tote along with us. Well, when he saw Aunt Stephy he lit up like a spot light and grinned ear to ear. She got some great big hugs and it made his day. He seems to be doing much better and we have even successfully brought his O2 down from 2 liters to 1.5 liters. Soon they plan on lowering it another 1/2 liter. I pray it holds!
This morning Aaron arrived and we traded “posts”! I got Noah and he got Collin. It was so great to see my big boy!! We went to Bob Evan’s for breakfast. We ordered and the server was about to walk away when Noah told her “My brother is in the hospital, yeah he’s sick”. It was all I could do NOT to cry. I was missing Collin. I was feeling guilty for missing him when I hadn’t spent any time with Noah since our 15 min playdate 2 days ago. I knew Collin would be having a blood draw while I was away and I wouldn’t be able to be there to hold him. After we ate, I made it as far as the cash stand before the tears started pouring out of my eyes. We got to the van, I was somewhat composed, when Noah told me he wanted to hug me for a long time. I L.O.S.T. it! I sobbed into his tiny shoulder and tried to assure him they were happy tears because I missed him so much and now that we were together I was so happy I couldn’t help myself. He just said,”come on Mom, stop crying.” I cried until we got to Walmart where I bought him a gift and passed him off to grandpa then headed back to the hospital. I am stacking up the mommy guilt, I will try to refrain from my (mostly tainted) thinking. Let’s just say I feel pretty guilty right now. While at Wally world I snagged some cough syrup for me and some chapstick for Collin. I returned to the hospital to find a snuggling Daddy and Collin. It was beautiful. It warmed my heart as does looking up from my lappy to see the same picture in living color right in front of me.
I am so thankful Aaron is here tonight. Last night was almost more than I could take! I hope sleeping in shifts will help, but right now I am not even tired. I know it is impossible that I could be anything less than wiped out, but I am running on adrenaline right now. Crazy, ADD type adrenaline. My mind is rushing!
I should probably call it a night! More to come tomorrow! Thank you again for your love, support and encouragement! It means a lot!

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