To blog or not to blog… that is the question.

Okay so the answer to my question is – to blog. 🙂
Today has turned out to be an okay day even though I have been in quite a bit of pain.
I feel so loved and suppported by the sincere outpouring of love from so many people that have offered to bring us meals or take the kids so I can have a break. A couple of people have even offered to clean or go grocery shopping for us. WOW! I am amazed. For those of you who know me well, you probably know that I like the feeling of control ~ especially when it comes to matters of my home and children. Well, I have been stretched to the limit in this area lately and I am learning so much about myself in the process.
Today started kind of ruff, especially for little Collin. He has recently gotten over a cold and I thought he was out of the woods, but today he was rubbing his ears and he actually used the words “ear hurt” so I promptly called the doctor and we were able to get in late this morning. Poor guy! He has an ear infection in both ears. OUCH! The upside is, Aaron worked last night, leaving home at 9 pm and returning at 4:30 am today, so he was here to watch Noah and I actually got to leave the house with only one child in tow. This is good news because since my back went out I haven’t left the house with both boys because they are much more agile than me right now and I am afraid of not being able to keep them both out of harms way. Anyway, it was nice to get out of the house and spend time alone with just Collin. When he is away from big brother he seems much bigger than when the two of them are side by side. We went to CVS after the doc appt to fill his RX. It was challenging lifting him in and out of the cart, but it was do-able. I came home to a wonderful hot meal prepared by my hubby and then all 4 of us took a nap.
Now on to Noah… he just wasn’t his normal self today. We have chalked it up to growing pains. He spent the majority of the day resting and saying that he didn’t feel good. He ate like a teenage boy, was in good spirit’s and he took a 4 hour nap that would have lasted even longer if I didn’t wake him us to eat dinner.
Tonight we ventured out to the mall for Noah’s 3 year pics and the event almost did me in. The pics turned out great, Aaron did all of the heavy lifting. We promised Noah a trip to the pet store to see the puppies if he cooperated and that is the part that took a toll on me. I felt that a walk would do me good, but the short distance from JCPenney’s to the pet store by Sear’s (Fairfield mall) almost did me in, not to mention the walk back to the van.
This brings me to blogging. I am tired, but laying down hurts too bad right now, so here I sit. Posture in check, core tightened, lumbar spine pressed firmly into back of our office chair and feet planted firmly on the floor. This offer’s some relief, more for Aaron than me no doubt. He must have trouble sleeping next to my twisting and turning as I search for the most comfy way to lay.
I had forgotten about this part of back pain. The lack of sleep really SUCKS! I have dark, puffy circles under my eyes and the energy level is no where near what it was about a month ago when all of this started up. I often wonder how I get through the day with 2 busy boys and I rest in knowing that God’s grace is not only sufficient for me, but for my boys too. He has not only promised to supply my needs, but also their needs. I think too much of myself. I think that I am the only one who can take care of my boys and meet their needs, but that is not the case at all. The same God that is leading me through this “tough patch” is also holding Noah and Collin in His arms and leading them as well. Last Sunday we sang a song that talks about how, as Christian, we long for “holiness, faithfulness and righteousness” and how they are all we need. The chorus goes on to say, “take my heart and mold it, take my mind and ( insert something I can’t remember right now) it, take my will and transform it to Yours to Yours O’ Lord”, that has been my prayer all week. I know that God has a plan for me and for my family. He will carry me through just as He has carried me through every other difficult time in my life. I rejoice tonight knowing that even if I wake up tomorrow and the pain is still there – or even worse – God is there. He will take care of me and the boys. Even if I experience another sleepless night, He will provide the energy to get through the day. Praise God!!!!!!!!
Anyway, that was my day.

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